Section 4:

Building Confidence Properly

Many parents accidentally damage confidence.

Confidence Killer #1

Constant Correction

Examples:

• "You should have..."
• "Why didn't you..."
• "Next time you must..."

Players begin associating rugby with criticism.

Confidence Killer #2

Comparisons

Examples:

• "Look at John."
• "Look at your teammate."
• "Look at your brother."

Comparison creates anxiety.

Confidence Killer #3

Performance-Based Approval

Examples:

• More praise after wins.
• Less warmth after losses.

Children notice this immediately.

What Builds Confidence?

Confidence grows from evidence.

Not motivational speeches.

Evidence-Based Confidence

Help your child notice:

• Hard work completed
• Skills improved
• Effort shown
• Consistency achieved

Example:

Instead of:

❌ "You're amazing."

Say:

✅ "You've worked hard on your tackling and it's showing."

The second statement is believable.

Confidence Exercise

Every Sunday ask:

What are three things you improved this week?

Write them down.

Over time this creates a record of growth.

Make It Stick