Supporting Without Taking Over

Part 4: Building Confidence Properly

~2 min read

Section 4:

Building Confidence Properly

Many parents accidentally damage confidence.


Confidence Killer #1

Constant Correction

Examples:

  • "You should have..."
  • "Why didn't you..."
  • "Next time you must..."

Players begin associating rugby with criticism.


Confidence Killer #2

Comparisons

Examples:

  • "Look at John."
  • "Look at your teammate."
  • "Look at your brother."

Comparison creates anxiety.


Confidence Killer #3

Performance-Based Approval

Examples:

  • More praise after wins.
  • Less warmth after losses.

Children notice this immediately.


What Builds Confidence?

Confidence grows from evidence.

Not motivational speeches.


Evidence-Based Confidence

Help your child notice:

  • Hard work completed
  • Skills improved
  • Effort shown
  • Consistency achieved

Example:

Instead of:

❌ "You're amazing."

Say:

✅ "You've worked hard on your tackling and it's showing."

The second statement is believable.


Confidence Exercise

Every Sunday ask:

What are three things you improved this week?

Write them down.

Over time this creates a record of growth.